Angela Garmon conquered cancer and is now inspiring others to thrive through their seasons of change.
A conversation between Steph Wagner, director of Women & Wealth at Northern Trust, and Angela Garmon, founder and CEO of ARG Coaching & Consulting Group, and an expert in change management
The following transcript has been edited for clarity.
Steph Wagner: Hi, I’m Steph Wagner, director of Women & Wealth here at Northern Trust. I am thrilled to be joined by Angela Garmon, founder and CEO of ARG Coaching & Consulting. She’s also an expert in change management. Welcome Angela. It’s great to have you!
Angela Garmon: Oh my goodness, thank you so much Steph. It’s good to be in the house [laughs].
SW: Angela and I met a few months back, and as we began to talk it did not take long for me to realize that I was sitting across from a remarkable woman – and not just because of her success as a business owner. As she began to share her story, I learned that just two years after starting her business, on May 16, 2018, she was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma, an aggressive form of breast cancer. As you can imagine, it was an incredibly challenging time for her and her family. And what is so inspiring is that Angela didn’t just conquer cancer, she thrived through it, and today she is using her personal journey and professional expertise to help others do the same. And that’s why I am so glad you are here today, Angela, to share your story and tremendous wisdom. I think it can help many of us as we face our own seasons of change. Obviously the last few years have taught us that life can change on a dime. But beyond that, when we think about women’s lives today and the fact that we’re living longer than ever – which of course is a wonderful thing – there is a greater chance we’ll eventually face our own medical crisis. So Angela, let’s start with the “how.” Can you help us understand how to embrace these moments, instead of be paralyzed by them?
AG: Of course, but before I do that, I’d like to briefly touch on something. April 23rd is the day that I found the lump. The next day I woke up and I called my doctor. She got me in right away, but she couldn’t feel anything. So she told me to wait. She said, “Oh, you can probably wait a year, maybe even a little bit longer before you get a mammogram.” Because you mentioned women’s heath, I want to highlight that it is important for a woman to know and understand her body. Although she could not feel the lump, I had that intuition. I was in touch with my body and knew what sensations go on within me. When you consider the type of cancer that I was diagnosed with, if I had waited a year given that it was an aggressive form, it could have possibly been in stage three or stage four. So, I just want to stop and say that because so many times in life, as women, we are so busy taking care of other people, doing other things, that we neglect ourselves. We have so many hats that we wear. And I just wanted to say to pause long enough, ladies, to make sure that you’re checking in with yourself. And that you understand if something doesn’t quite feel right and push forward, regardless of what the experts tell you, because you only have one body. You must protect this temple.
SW: I am so glad you brought that up because it is such important advice — bring it to the forefront. You mentioned the power of our intuition, and it’s priceless. God gave us intuition for a reason. And your words of advice about advocating for ourselves, that’s so important throughout life, period, but especially during these critical moments because, to your point, it could have been a very different outcome had you not done that. So thank you for stopping to mention all that. AG: You’re welcome. You know, the first thing that I always say when we focus on any type of adversity, or any type of change that we’re faced with, is to embrace it. Because when we’re going through these seasons of change, more often than not, we tend to resist it. At one point I focused on, why me? When the truth is, why not? In fact, we all are vulnerable. We all are susceptible to whatever this environment holds. But the sooner we can begin to embrace our situations, the sooner we can begin to look at what this time, this season is teaching us. And most importantly put some type of a plan in place to move ourselves forward.
When I was first beginning treatment, there were a couple of ladies that I had lunch with. All of us at one point in time had been diagnosed with cancer. One of the women had said, “You know what, Angela, when I went through my cancer scare, I chose to control my situation. I chose to control every aspect of it… who knew and who didn’t know. And I chose to hide it from everybody in my community. I didn’t want the stigma to be attached to me.” Let’s call her Connie the controller. The next lady let’s call Vicky. Vicky said, “Angela, I chose to be the victim the entire time. I wanted people to know. And I wanted people to hear my story. I wanted people to sympathize with me. I wanted people to hear that what I was going through wasn’t fair and the worst thing I had ever been through. I don’t wish it on anybody. In fact, if somebody mentions the word cancer, I cry because of what I went through.” And then there’s me, Angela. I am the adapter. I chose to define my situation instead of allowing it to define me. I chose to understand what my odds were and understand the “best” course of action. I use the quotes around best because oftentimes, especially when we’re faced with change, we get stuck because we don’t want to make the right, or we don’t want to make the wrong decision, so instead we do nothing.
"When you are so focused on right or wrong, it’s impossible to get unstuck. Instead, it’s important to look for the best situation at that time."
When you are so focused on right or wrong, it’s impossible to get unstuck. Instead, it’s important to look for the best situation at that time. The thing about adapters is sometimes they just let their circumstances or situations unfold, and don’t always make definitive decisions. I say that because depending on who are you, Connie the controller, Vicky the victim, or Angela the adapter, it’s important to know that one isn’t better than the other, they’re just three different personalities that typically show up during seasons of change. And truthfully Steph, each of them can impact on the results you cultivate moving forward.
SW: I really appreciate what you’re saying. They all have qualities about them that can act as coping mechanisms. In so many ways, we can’t control the outcome, but we can control how we embrace the journey.
AG: Yes. And when you think about wellness in and of itself, it’s about intentionality. You need to be intentional with it for your physical health, your mental health and your emotional health. My coaching is in positive psychology. I talk a lot about the growth mindset and the fixed mindset. When you look at the personalities that show up, sometimes that fixed or limited mindset will have an impact on how you show up. It will have an impact on whether you’re surviving or thriving. And when you think about wellness, the whole goal of wellness is to thrive and not just survive. Often when we’re going through seasons of change, so many of us are just in that survival mode that we can’t even begin to thrive. That’s one of the lessons that I learned over that season of time is just really focus on ways to create a space for me to thrive. For example, instead of focusing on the debilitating part of cancer, I focused on what I could do to increase my health during that time. How can I incorporate exercising? What can I do to make sure that I get plenty of rest? I put a schedule in place that would allow me to still support my clients with excellence, but also give myself that ability and that time to rest, recover and redo.
SW: To take care of you.
AG: Exactly.
SW: As you talk, a couple things come to mind. One is the power of mindset, and the other is the power of community. I can only imagine how exhausted you must have been through it all, having to be a mom, on top of being a business owner, on top of really exercising tremendous emotional and physical self-care. Can you touch on those two things for me? I also want to spend some time on those lessons learned about yourself and others. We will wrap up with that, but first start with the power of mindset and then also community. Who did you surround yourself with to help give you that strength and push you through those tough times?
AG: We’ve all gone through these crazy seasons, right? Let’s take COVID as an example. During COVID some people were extremely successful throughout the pandemic and thriving, while others were extremely stuck. Mindset is such a powerful force and if you focus only on the problem itself, then there isn’t any room for possibilities. If all you see are those obstacles, you’re not going to be able to move beyond them, or it’s going to be extremely difficult to do so.
With a growth mindset you ask yourself, what else is possible? What can I do to position myself differently? What can I do to take care of myself? This makes room for possibility, room for growth, room for thriving. Whenever I’m talking with anyone, I always say, well, how are you feeling? Because so often we don’t talk about those emotions and our feelings. And if we can get beyond the emotional barriers, we can become open to what possibilities exist, despite all of that. This will help set us up for success.
SW: Right. And in some ways, it sounds like — and I don’t want to put words in your mouth — this perspective was a gift that your journey gave you. And it’s the ongoing gift after you conquered cancer. And congratulations at that! I love that, Angela. Thank you. So let’s kind of move on to community, because we need each other, especially during these kinds of seasons of change.
AG: We do. We can’t go at it alone. In fact, there is absolutely nothing that we can do alone. And when I think about my community, my mother, my sisters — they really rallied behind me. I do want to touch on one other thing, especially with respect to women. It’s hard for us to ask for help. Instead we say, “I got it. No, don’t worry about it.” But then we miss the opportunities for you to feel the love from your community, which is so important during those difficult times. I can truly say that over that time, it was one of the most beautiful times that I’d ever seen because my family, my friends really pulled together to make sure that I had their strength when I didn’t have my own.
We can’t go at it alone. In fact, there is absolutely nothing that we can do alone.
And I think that, no I know that, when you’re going through seasons of change, you have to be able to articulate what your needs are. And that might include time by yourself to process. Because sometimes when words like cancer come along, and you’re the one diagnosed, sometimes your family internalizes that it’s about them too. No one is more impacted than you, or the person that’s going through that season of change. So knowing exactly what it is that you need at that time is critical so that you can begin to establish boundaries. But then also you can say, “Hey, Steph, can you bring me X?” or “Can you just come over here and sit with me because that’s all I need today? I just need to know that you’re there.” You need to be extremely clear about what you need, and what you don’t need. And allow people to show up for you.
SW: That’s so well said. And it’s so hard for many of us, like you pointed out. It’s so hard for us to ask for help and to articulate what we need. I love your words about first sitting with yourself to accept and own what you need, and then expressing yourself to the people that love you. And frankly, it’s a gift to them because they feel helpless too. They want to help. I just love that.
As we wrap up, I’d love to talk about the lessons learned from your journey, not only about yourself, but others too.
AG: One of the biggest lessons that I learned about that season is not to get stuck in one place. As a result, I now ask people, especially when I’m talking to a group of women, what’s your vision? Because when you’re going through those crazy turbulent seasons of change, if you can keep your vision in front of you, if you can keep those possibilities of what you’re hoping to accomplish in front of you and move towards them and not just get stuck in your circumstances, then I can guarantee you that you’ll come out a totally different person. As I said earlier, don’t get stuck on the why. Instead start asking yourself what. What is being created in this season? What can you create? That new something, that’s brilliant. Something that’s bold. Because we get stuck on the why and why me. And then you will go into that Vicky-the-victim phase. But if you start focusing on the what, and the possibilities, then, again, you can create a space for something new.
There are three different ways that change can actualize into our lives: external change, inner circle changes and personal change. Sometimes when all three collide, which is really what happened with me — I was growing a business, diagnosed with cancer and trying to help the people that are around me really manage through change, and vice versa, they’re trying to help me. But sometimes it can feel like your life has just fallen apart. It’s just been shattered. But one of the things that we have to remember is that we can begin to pick up the pieces of our life. That’s a choice — it’s intentionality, right? We have to be able to see the bigger picture, the vision of our lives so that we know what we’re working towards. So if you keep that as your center focus, then you don’t lose sight of who you are, despite your circumstances.
SW: Well said my friend — the power of the mind and your vision. Because when you have that vision, and begin to slowly, through baby steps, act, your vision can become a reality. Well, I’m sure everyone now can understand why, as I sat across from this woman not too long ago, I knew A, we would become fast friends [laughs], and B, just how remarkable and inspiring you are. And, as I sit and reflect, now hearing you again, one of the things that impresses me most is this is your area of expertise in your work. You built a business around being an expert in change management, and then change happened to you. And what really shows the essence of who Angela is, is her ability to take her own advice and to incorporate it into her life and benefit from it. And, that is very hard for many of us to do. It is difficult to take our own advice, and put it into action. It’s a lot easier for us to advise others [laughs]. So I commend you, and it makes you that much more inspiring. I know that you will help so many through this conversation. Once again, I can’t thank you enough for being here — you are truly inspirational.
AG: Thank you so much for having me, Steph. It was truly a pleasure. I hope that there are some gems and nuggets that someone can pull from it. You now know my story, but hey, no two journeys are alike. I say that often — no two journeys are alike, right? But we all do have the ability to create the future that we want to see for ourselves. »
